Yes. You read that right. Corona virus saved me.
How, you may ask? I am aware of the severity of the situation and don’t want to trivialise it. I would like to say that I am quite an empathetic person and appreciate the number of people that the virus has affected, including people that I know. However, I am someone who tries to make the best out of bad situations and in this case, Corona has potentially gotten me out of a bad situation.
They say that the universe works in mysterious ways. Everything happens for a reason. All dogs go to…okay I’ll stop with the quotes.
The timing of recent events is something that’s interested me. I can only speak for myself but I know that other people have had all types of situations.
My ongoing issue was girl trouble that didn’t seem to go away, along with some tragic news and the expected exam stress. As a teenage boy, this is something unsurprising. I won’t go into the details but it was something that I feel affected me.
From 2019, my brain was working in a way in which I wanted everything to be perfect and aligned. This meant that I wanted to be doing well socially, academically and psychologically. I’m not sure how much this type of thinking did help my psyche but I’d still say that it worked for me then.
I relied on emotion and intuition for the first part of year, which meant that I just did things if they felt right or I felt the urge. This developed into wanting to do everything as I just wanted to live and experience everything that I felt I had missed out on before. And this developed into stripping things back and focusing on what would make me more successful in everyone else’s eyes, like taking a break from music and concentrating on trying to get into Oxford. Each phase had its purpose but eventually led to a sense of disillusionment.
Anyway, I got myself into a bit of a situation by the end of the year. Things were looking good around November time; I was part of a school project; I was applying for Oxford and I was seemingly happier than before. However, I still felt the stress of wanting to prove that I was a sociable person, who could get girls.
As I look back on it, it sounds so stupid but that’s just how I was thinking at the time. This led to a couple of warnings, where I let my school work slip because I was focusing on the wrong things.
Despite this, I didn’t learn my lesson and I landed myself into a spot of bother. A couple of spots actually. The worst thing was that they happened so quickly after one another. Nope (not the worst), worse still, they became inter-related. They tainted relationships. They caused arguments. They…it was just a bit of an L really. It became a never-ending cycle of negativity. I didn’t know how I was going to get myself out of the situation. And then, Corona and social distancing came.
I used to pray that I could get out of the situation. That I could let it go. That God could cut the demons off. But I never expected this. So, now I have the opportunity to heal. I am detached from the situation. Things have been made easier and now I just need the mental strength to exploit this opportunity. It’s also time that I can use to do things that I really enjoy. There is no pressure of school (I know a couple of man buss case with that decision, me included). I’ll be damned if I don’t use this time effectively.